Sunday, October 09, 2011

Developing identity

This is a post on a sensitive topic. It's not my intention to insult anyone, but it's an important issue that deserves to be aired.

It goes like this. As a boy I went through a phase in which a developing self-identity was important to me, and I was very fortunate to be able to identify with a long line of family going back to the early days of settlement in Australia. My identity was therefore positive and in no way confused.

I've therefore wondered at times about boys who can't so easily identify with a particular tradition. Does this affect their developing sense of self?

A short time ago I wrote a post on Andrew Bolt, a prominent journalist here in Australia. Bolt has described his own difficulties with identity this way:

I am the son of Dutch parents who came to Australia the year before I was born.

For a long time, I have felt like an outsider here, not least because my family moved around so very often.

Bolt tried at first to identify with his Dutch ancestry but then gave it all up in favour of a radical renunciation of any kind of ancestral tradition.

Note that Bolt had difficulties even though it is relatively easy for Dutch people to assimilate into the mainstream Australian tradition, given that the ethnicity is so closely related. So how much difficulty would a boy have who, say, had a white father and an Asian mother?

I'm sure that there are differences in how such boys respond to their situation. But some don't respond well. Here is one negative reaction:

Whats it like being Half-White and Half-Asian? Thats an important question for a changing America. With the flood of interracial relationships, and with mixed-race being the fastest growing race in America, there are going to be quite a few Hapa males around...

So what is it like? Humiliation, degradation, terror, fear, embarrassment, shame, self-hated, angst, debasement, sadness, hopelessness, pain, anger, rage, etc etc need I go on? You can’t imagine the internal conflict. The brutal civil war inside all Hapa males. The Hapa Paradox. We exist because Asian men are humiliated and emasculated, and yet we are Asian males. We are at war with ourselves from birth. The idea that an Asian man like me, is genetically 50% white, and carries ONLY the white-male Y chromosome. The Asian Y-chromosome is dead in me. Asian maleness is dead in me. I’m a Eunuch. I’m an Asian male inside a dead Asian male. That is what it means to be half-white, half-asian.

He has a belief that Asian women go for white men because they prefer white looks/genes to Asian ones and yet he himself, as an Asian looking man, is the very thing his mother rejected. That seems to be one source of his angst.

He goes on to complain about a lack of a clear identity, that young men like himself feel:

Homeless. Raceless. Strangers to strangers.

I don't know how representative he is of those in his position. But it does at least raise the issue that there are going to be a lot more young men who won't be able to form a positive sense of identity as easily as in a more traditional society.

As for my own son, I've already started to go through the family history with him. He's very interested, particularly in those relatives who served overseas in the army. I do believe that one role of fathers is to bring their sons into the larger tradition to which they belong. That not only means being the kind of father that sons would want to emulate, but also making sure that they have a positive sense of their family history, their national history and the larger Western cultural tradition.

26 comments:

  1. Wow that message from the 'hapa' male is the most honest message from a non-white I have ever read. It is a cry of pain at what western society has done to them.
    It is true that Western 'white' females reject Asian males. Even the most liberal 'anti-racist' white women ive met have privately expressed (and openly in their own circles) their revulsion and complete lack of attraction to Asian males.

    Most mixed race relations in my opinion are an expression of racial dominance and desire to humiliate the male members of the submissive partners society.
    It reminds me of barbarism and slavery and causes me physical revulsion.

    Indeed Western white females quite often mock and gloat over their racial supremecy to Asian women very openly. The same white women that will bite your head off if you speak ill of a black.

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  2. I can't quite say with regard to Asians, since I'm not Asian. However, as a Mexican-White mix, while it hasn't been as bad for me as with this guy (it could be that this is an issue which is particular to Asians), being mixed-race has its problems. I look Mexican, most people assume I'm full Mexican (so long as they don't hear my last name), other Mexicans immediately speak to me in Spanish, when I'm filling out college applications I choose 'Mexican' (victim-hood has its perks), etc. So I'm able to get along okay.

    On the other hand though, I don't find myself able to identify wholly with my Mexican side. My siblings both look white, and I am inherently tied to them. Whereas I can primarily identify as Mexican because of my phenotype, they, on the other hand, identify as white. I'm not as good at Spanish as my mother, and none of the elders in my family (grandparents, great aunts, great uncles, etc.) are fluent in English; hence, there is so much I fail to learn about my family lineage and tradition because I'm simply unable to communicate well with the older generation.

    There's also the risk of becoming completely Americanized. A good example is the Italians. During the early 20th century when they first came here they primarily viewed themselves as Italians who happened to live in America. They primarily held onto the language, culture, family lines, etc. Eventually they entered mainstream American society such that now the term "Italian American" has lost virtually all of its significance. Similarly with my family. My grandparents came (legally) to this country and generally could identify fully with their Mexican heritage. Two generations later I see myself and even my full Mexican cousins becoming like the Italians. We've lost, in large part, that enclosed culture, culminating in inter-racial marriages such as the one I've been born of.

    A difficult problem is identifying myself as a conservative, classical pianist, an orthodox Catholic, a mathematician, and a philosopher. These ideas, with the exception of orthodox Catholicism maybe, are mostly incomprehensible to other Mexicans, and in this way I am somewhat alienated from them. This really only makes sense with the white side of me; unfortunately, since (despite my last name) most people view me as full Mexican because of my appearance it still doesn't make much sense to them. Considering that these things are kind of fundamental to my life, it can make relations quite hard at times.

    Anyway, that may or may not be useful, but just thought I'd "share my experience."

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  3. What a ridiculous post from this so-called "hapa" guy (a term I have never heard before). He should seek out a counsellor; he seems to have some pretty deep-seated personal issues.

    I am the most conservative guy in my family and friendship circles. I also have similar racial ancestry to the blogger - white mother, Asian father. I don't hate myself. I speak a minimal amount of an Asian language but find at university that I am the most dogged defender of Western values, whether it be the history of Christianity or the British settlement of Australia. Naturally I am an avid reader of Mark's blog here. From the anecdotal experience of others I have encountered with similar ancestries, the common experience seems to be that Asian international students will be far more persistent (to the point of rudeness) in trying to find out one's racial background, and they tend to want to stick to their own Asian international student community.

    Frankly I think the blogger's post is absurd when it suggests that his Asian mother hates Asians or the same for his white father. I think the biggest problem in all of this are the Western left-liberals who want to systematically destroy Western culture. Of course an American (with partial Asian ancestry) will struggle to feel comfortable in America if he goes through an American education system that America is racist, evil, and then attend college where a "whiteness studies" professor tells him that white people are social construct on a quest for oppressive privilege. To blame interracial marriage rather than the Western leftists is to pick the wrong target.

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  4. Marry your own kind. Who agrees with me? (anon #18241)

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  5. Finally, someone in the online community is talking about the White Male and Asian Female partnering that is so overwhelming in this country.

    This is a social disaster in the making.

    And I am a 'lefty liberal'!!

    Savvas Tzionis

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  6. an American (with partial Asian ancestry) will struggle to feel comfortable in America if he goes through an American education system that America is racist, evil, and then attend college where a "whiteness studies" professor tells him that white people are social construct on a quest for oppressive privilege.

    Good point.

    the White Male and Asian Female partnering that is so overwhelming in this country

    Yes, something is happening here. It is becoming increasingly common for good-looking, middle-class white guys to marry Asian women. I'm not exactly sure why, but I wonder if the more quietly solid middle-class white men feel alienated from the party girl/ladette culture that white women have bought into.

    I'm interested in why you believe as a lefty-liberal, Savvas, that it's a social disaster in the making.

    But one social consequence I can see is that it will make life even more difficult for those white women who have decided to delay family formation until their 30s. There will be even fewer eligible men left for them.

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  7. Why would white guys having half asian kids with asian women be bad?
    Well they are creating a new ethnic class that is inheriting all the resources and power of the retiring white men. Minus the white guilt, minus the paralysing accusations of white supremacy.
    They will be like 19th century European males and they will be everyone elses competition including the old guard white males.
    I've already seen a lot of influential political and business people making the transition to Eurasian children.
    Wheres white males are losing their rights , feeling hopeless and inheriting nothing out of society. Eurasian males are becoming more confident, optimistic and are inheriting wealth.
    Contrast this with white women who decide to go with other males outside their community. Their kids inherit nothing but a missing father.

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  8. "I'm not exactly sure why, but I wonder if the more quietly solid middle-class white men feel alienated from the party girl/ladette culture that white women have bought into."

    Definitely. I know a lot of white men who go almost exclusively for Asians (and, in many cases, Jews), and they're some of the smartest people I know, not to mention the least interested in partying. My own record is limited to the two aforementioned groups, and in my case, it's just because I haven't run across very many girls in other categories who don't act like complete and utter tools.

    Interestingly, black girls (at least the more educated ones) generally don't do that either in my experience, unless they're social sciences or 'studies' majors, in which case they've got a whole different set of garbage going for them. It seems like whites are the only group who don't have a pop culture-resistant elite (besides the hardcore Christians, who are obviously off the market). I wonder why that is.

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  9. I'm biracial being half-African, half-Russian (skin colour looks like actress Tatyana Ali). I have always gotten along with Africans, both men and women. African women tend to treat me okay unless they view me as some form of competition and African guys are attracted to me. I don't tend to attract European men much (they tend to go for Asian and Latina women) but I get along with Russians pretty well. My sister has recently said how she wants to marry a Russian guy when she grows older (she's 16) so I'm happy that the Russian ethnicity will be preserved in my family. Personally to me I will either marry an African man like my father or a Russian man.

    @awatkins69 have you tried buying this language software? -> Learn Spanish with Rosetta Stone

    I've heard it's pretty good. I've learned English through immersion ever since I was a child and this software kind of mimicks my experience. Good luck on learning Spanish awatkins69.

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  10. Well Mark,

    'Lefty Liberal' is the 'pigeon hole' I have been placed in. I have always considered myself anti-conservative (politically) but there are some things that just cry out for attention.

    If the Asian woman/Caucasian man partnering was to cease it's upward movement, then there would be no problem, but I fear that it will continue what with the BILLION Asians that may migrate here.

    And this is why I do not fit the left mould.

    I believe that migrant's should not be rated on ethnic background etc. but I also believe that the final total of migrant's should be of an equal number, so that one ethnic/racial/cultural group does not become over-represented so to speak.

    The European (in my case, Greek) migratory period has ended partly because there are so few of us. But the Asian period could go on FOREVER.

    Savvas Tzionis

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  11. Anonymous 11:26 said,

    "Well they are creating a new ethnic class that is inheriting all the resources and power of the retiring white men. Minus the white guilt, minus the paralysing accusations of white supremacy."

    You might get the white father's economic resources but you won't always get the cultural heritage. What if as the commentor in the article said you look Asian? You won't easily identify with your White heritage and you won't feel as comfortable or confident in it. I think having a mixed heritage does bring strengths to people as you pointed out but also definetly potential weaknesses. Which religion should you follow if your parents are of different religions? Which languages should you learn, should you keep your asian heritage alive? Who should you marry? You're not quite white and not quite asian which doesn't worry some people but does others. Although having said that I think this commentor is totally overdoing it, you get the feeling his parents went through a messy divorce. Also we shouldn't all be lining up to take a "I'm a victim" card.

    White people certainly shouldn't feel paralysed for their history but should feel inordinatly proud and they should take on all those who would oppose it. Remember a half asian guy is less likely to want to jump to the defence of a fully white guy because they can potentially walk both sides of the street. Our culture was created by white people and we should preserve that.

    Hey Savvas are you enjoying the slap? Greek guy, black wife, Muslim convert neighbours and bogan party guests. The full multicultural catastrophy ;).

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  12. But anon - there is also the prospect that the Eurasian will inherit wealth, is by definition half-white, unencumbered by the white guilt the education system and media has imparted on to those who are 100% white, and may well be more ardent defenders of the white tradition than your ordinary brainwashed liberal. Should we not see that as a plus for the conservative political movement to preserve the Western tradition?

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  13. "Why would white guys having half asian kids with asian women be bad?...

    "...they are creating a new ethnic class..."

    Firstly, mixed race European/Asian or Anglo/Asian essentially means goodbye Anglo or goodbye European.

    Breeding one race out of existence is ironically, at the very least, a diminution of "Diversity".

    Creating a new ethnic class? Genetically and culturally doesn't quite work out that way. Two classic examples can be found with the race mixing of British and Australian Aborigines and the British and the Maori. More often than not the offspring identify with their non-British part i.e. Aborigine or Maori

    Take a look at recent news items concerning the remarks of one Professor Mutu of Auckland University. She identifies solely as Maori - BUT apparently was born of an Anglo-Celtic mother and her father was clearly part-Maori.

    "Marry your own kind" wrote one commentator. In general, good piece of advice.

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  14. George said,

    "... and may well be more ardent defenders of the white tradition than your ordinary brainwashed liberal."

    It doesn't follow that being half white makes you a conservative or being fully white makes you a liberal. Ultimately, although the Western tradition is broad and there are many aspects for people to take and identify with, unless there's a racial group behind it its going to struggle to survive. Its no coincidence that many second generation immigrants struggle to identify with the West and label themselves by their ethnicity instead. The Western tradition is not just an idea but a living flesh and blood/bodied experience, granted its one that many white people take for granted and so jump fully into liberalism.

    This does not mean to deny mixed race people into the ranks of Western conservatives but it does raise issues about having mixed children, which many people deliberately downplay or dismiss.

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  15. I was the anon who mentioned the Eurasian ethnic class.
    I think its very real. I'm not a proponent of it just observing it happening. I and many others have noticed the large number or older White males with young asian wives. They have kids then the kids inherit everything from the Father. Not just wealth but the position the father had in the community (im not going to pretend social classes dont exist in Australia)
    One example is the Brisbane director of the "racist" one nation. He has married and had children to an Asian woman. So the legacy of one nation has now been handed over to half asians. Great.

    I see it all as a natural reaction to white Australian women giving their men the shaft for foreign men or otherwise ignoring Aussie guys.
    Well to do Aussie men are shafting the whole of society now by throwing in their lot with the "Asia invasion".
    The future in Australia will be an elite upper class of Eurasians who are the decendants of White men who gave their inheritance to their children.
    The bottum under class will be all the decendants of white women who betrayed their society for 'dark' men and raised generations of fatherless undesirables.

    This is why its a good idea for Australians to vacate Australia it will soon be a rio type battleground for new mixed ethnicities.
    I don't wont to be caught in that.

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  16. Very interesting points Anon @ 2:17pm. You seem to assume that white women only go for black Africans (in unstable family environments) and are not also producing Eurasians? What do you think the reason (in the top post) for white women being quite racist in that sense is?

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  17. I wrote the top post aswell. I said "dark" males not just Africans there is a lot of that going on. Its the popular culture of the day. Having travelled to Europe im appalled that most European cities are sex tourism hot spots for African males. I'm starting to see this happen in Australia aswell.
    There is a group of white women and they portray themselves as the 'in' group who reject both asian and white males for anything 'dark'. I don't know what their exact thought process is but i can say as I have been in their company its entirely racist (in the true sense of the word)There relationships also are very weak with 'dark' men. Hence if they do have kids they become single mothers or its a dysfunctional family unit.
    You just need to look at the US to see this has been going on for a while.

    The reason they are racist I think is because they feel they can get away with it and racism is a white male trait. Its what they are taught throughout their schooling. I wont associate with these type of women because their hypocrisy wants me to bang my head against the table.
    One female friend I remember told me quite confidentally how ugly and inferiror Asian men were to her, the same white women who in the past reprimanded me for critising black men. Then ended up running off with an African who used her to make basically home made racist porn to rub in the faces of white males at his university. Then dumped her because he was cheating on her with multiple women.

    This sort of women as said in another post on this blog is an idiotic SCOURGE!

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  18. "Yes, something is happening here. It is becoming increasingly common for good-looking, middle-class white guys to marry Asian women. I'm not exactly sure why, but I wonder if the more quietly solid middle-class white men feel alienated from the party girl/ladette culture that white women have bought into."

    The role of normal men is to defend their own culture. If they are unhappy with the behaviour of some white women then it is their responsibility to educate these women and encourage them to behave in a more respectable manner. Running into the arms of women of alien race is quite simply a sign of profound weakness in white males.

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  19. One can also see many White men living in Asian countries such as Singapore and Hong Kong in relationships with Asian women. There are no white women ladettes there to force them to flee in to the arms of Asian women.

    One can reasonably conclude that many white men are weak and irresponsible and fail to take seriously the responsibilities of marriage and its role in the preservation of tradition and culture.

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  20. Its tempting to marry or have relations with Asian women. They're respectful, genuinely interested in having a relationship with you and socially conservative in their manners, especially the newer arrival. Its ultimately not the way to go though for white men and it is a betrayal of the culture I'm sorry to say. Even though there are advantages for both men and women individually both are trading off of their cultural heritage, ie Asian respectability and white social/cultural dominance, rather than building on it and this is not the way to perpetuate or grow the culture into the future. How to swing white women around though ... I don't have the answer to that yet.

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  21. The issue I see with white women is that so many of them are aggressive. Aggressive in their demands and willingness to show disaproval. I'm not sure what it will take to fix that.

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  22. Jesse 7
    I'm in a relationship with a white (i'm a white guy) women from outside the anglosphere. Its a long term relationship and shes wonderfully traditional despite having some very liberal outwardly spoken views (she actually inwardly very conservative and traditional more so than me)

    Heres the thing it took me to my mid twenties to obtain this normal relationship. Infact prior to this living in Australia i had zero interaction with Australian women. I would say the issue is with Anglosphere women and lessens further away from the Anglosphere you travel.
    Really there is something seriously wrong that a white male will get so rejected in his society like this. Its not mentally healthy either. I honestly had low self esteem and didn't think id ever get into a relationship.
    Then I did with the sort of woman that makes men envious (ive had men in the street literally approach me and express their envy of my gf)
    So Im suprised to find out that im actually a 'catch' and an attractive normal male I now have a large network of female friends that I never had in Australia.

    I think I have every right to be angry at White western (anglo) women for a quarter of a century of bullshit.

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  23. Even though there are advantages for both men and women individually both are trading off of their cultural heritage, ie Asian respectability and white social/cultural dominance, rather than building on it and this is not the way to perpetuate or grow the culture into the future.

    Jesse, that's well written.

    Really there is something seriously wrong that a white male will get so rejected in his society like this.

    You better believe there's something wrong. The thing is, though, that we've got to push back rather than being spectators of decline.

    My attitude was always that I had to try to fix things for my future son(s) so that they wouldn't have to go through what I went through.

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  24. Tradition is very important, it's my Scottish tradition passed down from my father and grandfather that has kept me loyal to culture. It's something the whiteness academics can't attack if they up hold the multiculturalism. They will only attack the multi-culture of whites with there racism.

    Notice the left liberals will attack western culture as they see it as white multi-culture, even though some Asian countries have adopted some westernised traditions with there Asian culture. The obvious lifting of Ingenious and Asian culture above western culture is epidemic among leftists.

    With all the anti white male racism, my step sisters bought into the hate Asian love black men deal. The eldest sister after being used and abused then raped changed her mind. She ended up having kids with a white guy. My younger step sister learned from her siblings experience, thank god.

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  25. Anyone notice the plagiarised Occupy Melbourne protests on the weekend? Perhaps someone should make the point that this Greenie movement is "racist" because most of the protestors are white: http://www.vexnews.com/2011/10/show-me-the-money-greedy-green-politician-nick-carson-cashes-in-on-occupy-melbourne/

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  26. Expect some trouble if the wife-pair-up only happens one way.

    All those white women who say they're colour-blind, need to step up to the plate.

    My prediction:
    1+ billion angry single Asian men, are not something that the Western world can handle.

    There comes a time when even economic success won't be enough, and all the square inches in a newspaper about "economic miracles" and "model minority" will be lost in the wash.

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