Thursday, January 13, 2011

Relationships expert does her best to confuse men

Sam Brett is an Australian relationships expert. She wrote a column last year which began clearly enough by lamenting the demise of masculine men:

"I just want a manly man!" is a common cry I've recently been hearing from frustrated women who are wondering what the hell happened to the hairy-chested, sports-playing, beer-sculling blokes of the world.

"Why are they suddenly all so girly and sensitive?" the women wonder in confusion. "It's like dating your female BFF!"

Despite the fact that, as women, we're more powerful, financially independent and fiscally stronger than ever before, there's still that nagging business of wanting to be with a man who is going to take care of us, support us, be the rock in our world and masculine enough to make us feel like a girl in his presence. (In fact, even the most alpha female women I speak to want just that: like mush in his big muscular arms.)

So, why is finding a manly man to cuddle and cook for such an arduous task? Why are all the men on Planet Dating such wusses? What the heck has happened to the blokey blokes?
But this is how she ends things:

Yes, I want an alpha male to look after me, protect me, provide for me, be strong when times are tough and be the man around the house. But I also want a man who isn't afraid to cook, watch Eat, Pray, Love, talk about his feelings and not be afraid to be a Mister Mom in the future.

Good grief! I'm not sure if Sam realises just how confusing that must appear to a young man. How can one man possibly be both things?

As for me, I couldn't possibly be Sam's boyfriend as I am afraid to watch Eat, Pray, Love. I'm afraid to watch most Julia Robert's movies (see, I can talk about my feelings).

19 comments:

  1. What be like those "animal rapist football players"? If only.

    Is there anything more vacuous than a "relationship expert"?

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  2. Is there anything more vacuous than a "relationship expert"?

    Not sure how you get to be accorded official status as a relationship expert.

    BTW, I wonder if that stuff about being a Mr Mom, watching Eat, Love, Pray etc is some kind of test that her alpha male of choice is expected to self-confidently brush aside.

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  3. She wants a "Mister Mom"! Good Grief!

    What's wrong with a red-blooded eunuch?

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  4. I want a stay-at-home mom to raise my children and a high-powered career woman to bring home a paycheck and raise our standard of living. It makes me sad that there are no women out there who are willing to be both!

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  5. Not sure how you get to be accorded official status as a relationship expert.

    Be female.

    She explicitly validates Roissy's idea that the reason most men are invisible to women (thus the cry of "where are all the good men") is that only alphas are in their sexual field of regard.

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  6. If she is not in a successful relationship, it kind of makes one wonder what makes her an expert. Sort of like a homeless man claiming to be an expert financial planner.

    It seems like she wants two different men. One to rule over her, and one to be her personal assistant.

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  7. If you check out the personal histories of these female (so-called) "relationship experts", you usually find that they are single and in their thirties, or have a long string of failed relationships, and/or have been divorced multiple times.

    I've always believed that asking for relationship advice from these modern female "relationship experts" is akin to asking for financial advice from the homeless, or a "financial expert" that has been through multiple bankruptcies.

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  8. Your error lies in assuming she's talking about the same man...

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  9. It seems to me that this entire article is a kind of fitness test. Young men should read such things if for no other reason than to understand how confused and muddleheaded most young women are.

    Any woman who calls herself "Sam" outside of a situation comedy is to be suspected right away. Note how the image of "Sam" makes it clear she spends a fair amount of time each day on her appearance. How much time does that leave for her mind, or for any other person?

    I'm tempted to engage in crude speculation on what it takes to become a 'relationship expert' (perhaps a short-term 'relationship' with an editor? I digress....) but clearly these "experts" are about as useful as a dentist who keeps a bowl of toffees & jawbreakers in the waiting room...

    PS: I have no fear of Julia "collagen-lips" Roberts. I did not go see her 1990's hit "Pretty Disgusting Woman", for example, not because of fear, but because I regard vomiting in public to be a rude thing to do.

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  10. Mark Richardson wonders at the gross irrationality of a woman who would write:

    "Yes, I want an alpha male to look after me, protect me, provide for me, be strong when times are tough and be the man around the house. But I also want a man who isn't afraid to cook, watch Eat, Pray, Love, talk about his feelings and not be afraid to be a Mister Mom in the future."

    How is such grossly contradictory thinking possible? Here is my explanation. Women are capable of being rational, so long as they are connected with the male principle along with its attendant power of logical thinking, either through their personal and family relationships or through membership in a society and a culture that is governed by the male principle, or through having internalized the male principle within themselves to a certain extent. But once women have become entirely separated from and independent of the male principle and its attendant power of logical thinking, as contemporary liberated feminist women have done, they are then governed by nothing but their feelings, whims, desires, and preferences. There is nothing within them that is capable of grasping, for example, that the desire to have a man who is masculine and commanding is contradicted by the desire to have a man who is also a feminist sap.

    Thus in a TV program I saw some years ago Gloria Steinem was arguing for women to be hired as firemen. When it was pointed out to her that women lack the strength to carry a victim out of a fire, Steinem didn't miss a beat; she smugly replied that that was no problem; if a female fireman couldn't carry a victim out of a fire, she could drag the victim along the floor instead. She was entirely serious. She recognized no principle of reality that could limit her desires. She wanted women to be firemen, and she would say anything, no matter how absurd, to support that.

    Women without the guidance of the male principle, whether externally or internally, are like children without adults; they are like a society without laws and police. They simply run riot.

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  11. "Is there anything more vacuous than a "relationship expert"?"

    True Jesse. And, as someone else pointed out what would she know as a relatively young single woman anyway?

    Brett is going on 28 and the biological clock is ticking away, causing her to spout illogical nonsense.

    This woman has too much time on her hands and too many choices.

    She needs a man to be put in her place..

    Which is ...... drum roll.... Wait for it!!! .........


    In the kitchen barefoot and pregnant! ;)

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  12. ""As for me, I couldn't possibly be Sam's boyfriend as I am afraid to watch Eat, Pray, Love. I'm afraid to watch most Julia Robert's movies (see, I can talk about my feelings).""

    Mark I am a very straight man but i think i know love you....

    That is one of the best endings to an article you have ever written!

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  13. Jesse_7 said...

    ""Is there anything more vacuous than a "relationship expert"?""

    Militant feminist relationship expert?

    I dunno you pose a hard one there Jesse.

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  14. "She could drag the victim along the floor instead."

    She can also defend the city gates from the comming hordes...hmmphh...yeh.

    I'll be too busy drinking my Fat Yak to bother.

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  15. Not sure how you get to be accorded official status as a relationship expert.

    The manual says that you must have at least 50 failed relationships and 100 one-night stands to be eligible for certification.

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  16. Not sure how you get to be accorded official status as a relationship expert.

    The manual says that you must have at least 50 failed relationships and 100 one-night stands to be eligible for certification.

    That's qualification for "carousel expert", not "relationship expert"...oh, wait, sorry, I got confused for a moment.

    Never mind.

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  17. Lawrence Austar said,

    "But once women have become entirely separated from and independent of the male principle and its attendant power of logical thinking, as contemporary liberated feminist women have done, they are then governed by nothing but their feelings, whims, desires, and preferences."

    This pretty much sums up any Kelly Clarkson song. It can also be said to apply to several different culture's of men. Arab men are ridiculous, mediterranean’s can go off the handle over nothing, chinese are nuts for gambling.

    Women can certainly be crazy, but I've noticed that in "motherhood" situations they can be unusually level headed. Aside from biological factors aren't some of these factors the result of cultural influences? Mediterranean men wear their ego's on their sleeve in part because this is their idea of manhood. Women on the other hand are "expected" to be responsible mothers and so in part they are. If a mother is useless her biggest critics will likely be other women. Just a thought.

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  18. ""Arab men are ridiculous""

    I know Arab and other muslim men who believe that Europeans should give land to the Jews in Europe because of the Holocaust, and at the same time believe that the Holocaust did not happen.

    Mark Steyn has noticed something similar and has said so a number of times.

    The thing that shocked me was that I worked with these blokes and they were not at all devout, anyone who knew them would consider them "Moderates".

    The Arabs have spread a culture of conspiracy theories halfway around the planet, Pakistanis in particular seem mad for them, everything bad that happens [even the recent floods] must be a conspiracy by people who are "Out to get them".

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  19. Arabs are a joke and you're better off not listening to them at all, nonetheless, they're men not women. Our ideas of man, solid, dependable, logical, are based on northern Europe. We can't say that this was always the case, (ie these were not the characteristics of the Gallic or Germanic tribesmen) consequently this must have been influenced by cultural factors.

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