Thursday, May 19, 2011

Husbandless and empty

Here's a letter to Salon magazine from a woman who is grieving over her lost opportunity to be a wife and mother with a family of her own. I'm not posting it to panic my female readers but as evidence of just how important men are to women, no matter what feminist women might claim or aim for:

Dear Cary,

With this letter, I think I'm addressing an issue me and a number of my female friends are facing ... and there are probably more of us out there.

I'm a 42-year-old woman and have never been married, which often surprises the people I meet. I have the usual list of attributes ... attractive, kind, quite intelligent and with a warm and loving heart. I'm educated, cosmopolitan, responsible and self-sufficient ... a very normal, grounded woman who grew up in a loving home.

Why didn't it ever happen for me? I don't know ... I have been looking for a good man since my 20s and have always wanted to marry -- I didn't put career first or any of the usual excuses. I guess it is a combination of choosing the wrong men (or having them choose me), having high expectations, or maybe just plain bad luck. I was never willing to settle. I wanted a husband who was my equal, whom I was compatible with, and whom I could love and respect with all of my heart, as he would me. I didn't think this would be impossible -- many women find Mr. Right -- I just didn't and it never worked out with the men I was with. My friends have a similar profile, and are in the same predicament.

Now the problem. I do not want to be, or like, being single and sometimes I look at a future that seems empty and desolate and it frightens me. There are days when I don't know how to go on -- the sadness runs so deep. I have started to withdraw from friends and acquaintances who have a husband and children -- I feel like the odd one out, and the one who is to be pitied. I won't go to my high-school/college reunions for the same reason. It seems more acceptable to be divorced with kids than having never been married. Dating? After my last disappointment, I assume no one wants to settle down with a 40-something-year-old woman -- an eligible man will invariably choose a younger, more attractive option to date and marry. And the fact that I am too old for children causes me a quiet but intense feeling of grief.

All of this basically makes me feel like the train of life left the station and I'm still on the platform.

I guess my question is, what meaning is there to life without a husband and family? Please don't tell me to travel, do volunteer work, have a rewarding career, etc., etc. I have done all that. I have been all over the world and visited my "dream destinations," I have lived overseas for several years, I have seen wonders both natural and man-made. I currently live in probably the most exciting city in the U.S., if not the world, I have a career, I've gotten my master's degree, I've done volunteer work, I attend church, I have friends and family. Yes, all of this is nice, but my life feels empty, hollow and meaningless. I would have traded it all to have had a normal life with a wonderful husband and kids, and a home. I feel adrift, purposeless and like my life is finished ... though it never even really got started.

How do I find some meaning and purpose in my life? And how do I reconcile the life I have now with with the one I expected, when they are so very different? And how do I face a future that seems like an empty void ... no husband, no children, no grandchildren. Nothing.

Husbandless and Empty

She's not alone in her predicament. A report in the Daily Mail today shows that 20% of women in the UK have missed out on having children. The percentage amongst the university educated will be much higher.

In Australia, for instance, a 2003 research paper showed that the rate of childlessness amongst women with a bachelor's degree was double the average. One third of Australian women with an income over $50,000 ended up childless.

In Canada, a 2009 research paper found that childlessness rose with the level of a woman's education: 11% for women with a high school education and 25% for the university educated.

Most of these women did not want to end up childless:

The intention to be childfree is low among the young. Using the 2001 Canadian General Social Survey on Family History, Stobert and Kemeny (2003) estimate that the proportion intending to remain childfree stays constant at 6 to 9 percent for men and women aged 20-34.

So what goes wrong? Clearly, one factor is a failure to marry. It's still the case that married women are much, much more likely to have children than women who are either single or in de facto relationships. In Canada, 12% of married women ended up childless compared to 26% of women in de facto relationships and 60% of single women.

So you might think that something as important as marriage and family formation would be given a high priority and that women (and men) would be raised to cultivate the kinds of qualities needed for family life. But that doesn't happen as much now. Family formation has almost become an afterthought - something to be delayed for as long as possible. It's left to take care of itself, whilst people dedicate themselves to other life pursuits.

And here's one final thought. Miss Husbandless and Empty wanted a man who was her equal, by which she presumably means a man who had at least her level of education and professional attainment. She wasn't willing to settle for anything less.

But this means that she should have been worried by the social trends which have seen more women than men in higher education and in the workforce. It stands to reason that if women refuse to "settle" by marrying men with lower educational or professional qualifications, at a time when women are earning an ever higher percentage of college degrees, that there will be many more disappointed women wondering why they never met Mr Right.

40 comments:

  1. (Yawn) Another letter from one of the 'modern empowered womyn' who bought the feminist party line and is now 'over-the-hill' with what she wanted -- a career.

    She has no sympathy from me. What did she expect? Women like her spat in men's faces with their favorite slogan, "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle". They were told at the start of the 'first wave' of feminism that this is what would happen. But like all true believers, they refused to listen and followed the 'pie in the sky' propaganda of their N.O.W. party bosses -- to the point of shouting down all opposition and even attacking anyone opposed to their viewpoints (remember their favorite insult, "you male chauvinist pig!"?).
    Well, she has found that she is now living the life of her feminist party bosses: a life dedicated to a job -- with no husband, no children, no family. She now has everything that she wanted when she was young and, like a typical feminist, was so full of herself.

    She'd better snuggle up with that career -- I hope that it's "fulfilling"!

    (I noticed that there is no mention of WHY men would avoid marrying her -- no mention at all of feminism's favorite 'accomplishments':
    -- draconian 'sexual harassment' laws (which are ruthlessly enforced against any accused man)
    -- 'no fault' (in reality, 'HIS-fault') divorce laws
    -- male-hostile 'Family Courts'
    -- "must-arrest" DV laws
    -- "guilty until proven innocent" (and probably not even then) rape laws (also ruthlessly enforced against any accused man)

    With an incomplete list of accomplishments like these, modern womyn are lucky that a man would even take the risk to talk to them!)

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  2. As a female reader, this kind of letter doesn't panic me, but it does confuse me. She states she doesn't know why things didn't work out but then later actually gives the reason: "I never wanted to settle". I don't get that. As a woman who was married at 24 I never thought that I was settling. I married at an age when I had lots of time and opportunity left. I didn't settle, I made a choice.

    I'm not clear what her reason is for writing that letter - she tells us that she's been there, done that as far as the usual advice is concerned. What does she want from us? I can't give her twenty years of building a life and memories with a husband. Is it really just a pity party?

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  3. Since she was writing to Salon, I assume she wanted the kind of reply she got. (If she'd wanted a conservative reply, she could have communicated with conservatives.)

    Don't feel bad about not marrying. There is no shame in how you have lived your life. ... It means it was more important to you to be true to your standards than it was to become married and have children. You considered your own self, your own spiritual self, your own values, to be of such worth that you were not willing to risk getting screwed up in a bad marriage. ... So good for you. You kept yourself whole. ... It feels like a loss. But was it a loss? Or was it a victory for a self that would be more grievously harmed by compromise? ... You are paying the cost of being true to yourself. ... Now you set off on a journey of self-discovery. ... I do not think what you are experiencing is some kind of strange, pathological thing. Rather, it is just a sign, a clear, predictable, normal sign that it is time for you to begin a committed search for meaning in your life. ... (etc.) ... Good luck. You will not be alone.

    Don't think of your state as in any way unnatural or wrong. Rather, rejoice in your new phase of life, in which the the proper goal of your journey will be me me me!

    And be reassured in knowing that a generation of similarly unique women goes with you.

    That's the advice academically smart women want, and which they'll easily find.

    I suspect that when "Husbandless and empty" finds the personal guru she's also advised to look for, he'll be a foreign sharpie who'll see he's handsomely compensated for bouncing her old bones and talking about the infinite precious beauty of her sterile soul.

    In this way, she can have for a little while the feeling of having a "wonderful" husband. And since she was never prepared to settle for less, that's a happy ending.

    When she dies at last, "Husbandless and empty"'s legacy will be the dysgenic effect of cutting yet another academically talented woman out of the gene pool, plus any efort she's put in to promote feminism and thus screw up the next generation of young woman (and the young men who would have married them otherwise).

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  4. If "Husbandless and Empty" asked me rather than Salon for advice, I'd steer her very differently.

    Scour your near relatives for a couple with children. Devote yourself to the welfare of those children. You're an old maid now, and this is the best you can do, if the option is open.

    If it isn't open, which is likely to be the case (as the parents may not want an eccentric old lady coming around or even providing gifts and money), the next best thing you can do is devote yourself to the welfare of people of the same race. It's tough to accept that, but ethnic nepotism is better than no nepotism at all.

    Also, learn from how your life was screwed up by false ideas and useless standards you were true to when you should have just eaten at the banquet table Nature laid out for you. You're smart enough, and lucid in communication. Work out who set you wrong and how, and do your best to devise counter-messages and see to it that the next generation of girls - especially your own relatives - are not misled into infertility as you were.

    To put it abstractly, your goal now is to make enough of a contribution to people genetically like you that you make as much positive difference as you would have made by having and raising a couple of good kids of your own.

    That's tough. Your odds are not good. And it will probably never feel quite right while you are doing it, because you can't do better than follow Nature's plan.

    But there's no reward at all for not trying.

    Anything else that will be suggested to you probably boils down to someone trying to sell a book or a tour or a bunch of malarkey designed to comfort them for their own mistakes and make them look smart in the sight of other potential customers.

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  5. I am inclined to feel sincere pity and sympathy for people like "Husbandless and Empty".

    They were lied to by society's top authorities and by teachers that they trusted.

    The harm that was done to them was very great, much worse than a fad diet that knocks a few years off your life but doesn't wipe out all your future generations, which is what feminism often does.

    But my sympathy is in suspension, because:

    1. Generally they don't want honest advice, they want to be confirmed in the errors they've made and in a wrong life path that is comfortable in a material sense and carries a false social status.

    2. Generally they can't carry out the advice I give, because they are simply too selfish, and what I recommend is devotion, though on the most biologically natural and rewarding terms available.

    3. They're likely to reject my kind of advice as racist, material, petty, un-spiritual etc..

    4. They have a bad habit of voting for the worst politicians available and making things harder for the next generation.

    5. Also screwing things up for the younger generations, they tend to comfort themselves with more and more feminism, bitterness, anger and hostility to the opposite sex as they age.

    Thus they go from being victims to being feminist zombies who want to bite others and pass on the curse.

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  6. Daybreaker -

    Your comment above:
    "1. Generally they don't want honest advice, they want to be confirmed in the errors they've made and in a wrong life path"

    explains it all really. I would think that a self-described "attractive, cosmopolitan, self-reliant, blah, blah" 42 year old woman would be ashamed of this kind of attention seeking. Where's her dignity and self-respect?

    She might say of me and others who married in our twenties that we settled, but if you ask me she's the one who ended up settling.

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  7. All this brings to mind the rich young man who came to Jesus for advice: "What must I do to be saved?" He went away disappointed, because Jesus did not say, "Don't worry, you're already saved." Instead he laid on him something that was, to him, a heavy burden, since he loved money. (For those who don't know, Jesus told him to give all his money to the poor and to come follow him.)

    And look at this woman. She proclaims all her wonderful, super awesome virtues, yet wonders what she must do to find meaning in life. If she got the truth for an answer, I suppose she would go away unhappy, because the true answer would have laid on her a heavy burden, something she couldn't give up easily (like her autonomy), not with Salon whispering lies in her ear.

    I find it hard to believe such a good woman could not have found a good man. Methinks something really is amiss.

    As Mark has so ably demonstrated, Autonomy is the god of this age. A man will go to his grave miserable and ruined, but full of his own autonomy. A woman will go to her grave, a lonely old spinster, childless, purposeless, yet she "held onto her standards." Such cold comfort!

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  8. okay this woman wrote a letter bemoaning the long term consequences of her self-centered life style.... The advice she is given is to lead a MORE self-centered life??? REALLY!

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  9. Anonymous: :"okay this woman wrote a letter bemoaning the long term consequences of her self-centered life style.... The advice she is given is to lead a MORE self-centered life??? REALLY!"

    Yes really. :(

    It's no better than telling someone with a long term poisoning issue to eat more poison.

    I feel sorry for her. But this is where she asked for her advice, presumably knowing the kind of advice she was likely to get. :/

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  10. I wanted a husband who was my equal, whom I was compatible with, and whom I could love and respect with all of my heart

    There's her problem right there. She wants contradictory things. Women are hypergamous. Since no man be both her equal and have her respect, it is unsurprising she didn't find a man to marry.

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  11. randian, that was her problem.

    Her problem now is that she has nothing satisfying to aim for. She's already maxed out on all the credentials, trips, goodies and social strokes she can bestow on herself. Another trip will do nothing for her.

    And the telescopic philanthropy of "charity work" for people she's not related to and has no special connection to is also doing nothing for her, which is normal.

    My advice is: try that again, but this time focus your philanthropy on people who are as related to you as you can get. And if your own family doesn't yield anything, read up on ethnic genetic interests, and try to do things for people who are a lot more related to you than you may have realized.

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  12. Anyone who blames this woman or doesn't have sympathy for this woman is a soulless creature of epically evil proportions. You are just as bad as the liberals just on the opposite side. And if you are married, then you merely lucked out. That is all.

    Here's the deal.....

    Instead of holding women down, we must do that much more to raise the male children up. Yes, if you have a son and he is doing badly in school or doesn't want to go to college....you must do everything in your power to make sure that son achieves everything he can. It is important for a man to reach his full potential.

    Also, as Roissy said, it's important that we restore manufacturing and 'machine type' jobs that give men a natural outlet to show their strengths (you don't have to go to college to be a mechanical whizz and impress the heck out of even the most 'book' educated of women)

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  13. I didn't read the post about Maria Shriver. I was referring to some of the insensitive comments from above.

    It's not ALL the woman's fault if she can't find someone.

    There is a gap between college-educated women and college-educated man percentage wise. So then it turns into a matter of luck for those college-educated women to meet non-college men who are Genuinly Awesome People and not you know someone with a real problem (substance abuse...it's a BIG problem with men nowadays...alcohol and cocaine...u just have no idea)

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  14. MorningGlory's first comment is astute. This woman made a CHOICE.

    It is in the very nature of a free society that some people are going to regret their choices. For every person bemoaning the emptiness of being single, there is a person (or one or two or several) enduring a miserable marriage and saying, "What was I thinking?"

    It doesn't follow from this that we should force once choice or another down people's throats.

    I also don't see what this woman's career has to do with it. Most straight women with careers marry and stay married, albeit a bit later than women with less education and earning potential.

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  15. I've disqualified 2 very nice men...1 college educated and 1 non-college educated due to drinking...and in a few more months I'm about to disqualify (break-up with) a third non-college educated man because of drinking (I'm not sure yet if he has a problem). I disqualified a military man because of a history of cocaine use (although he has stopped, but u know...the trust is gone)

    I'm 29.

    What do you want me to do??

    I have a family problem with alcohol, I'm a tea-totaler, and when you get into men without college degrees then the drinking problem becomes an issue.

    So that's 4 men that I've disqualified because of alcohol.

    Women are evil and hypergamous, but seriously lets not overlook some social issues here. And let's have a bit less women hatred from the commentators.

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  16. I'm not done yet :)

    Why is it...that I went to college....Held the American Flag up High and Beat the SHIT out the Asians in my major thus proving that White Americans Are Indeed The Best....(oh yes...I went into every test in college with a warrior attitude of "I'm the only white person here and I'm going to be the top scorer bitches!")

    I always wondered to myself...Where are the white men? Why am I the only one here?

    Did I date an Asian Man? No. Did I whore myself around in college? No.

    Yet...I very well could die single and childless.

    And I'm the bad guy? All because a) there are liberal ass-hole women in this world and b) because many white men have failed to step up to the plate and take their rightful place in college majors like mine. Or put down the wine glass, take your pick.

    Yet for some reason...I'm the bad guy?

    No way...I feel like I'm in bizarro world.

    That single woman is the product not of her "CHOICE" but in fact, a product of our System favoring minorities over white males.

    Thats is the problem. NOT The Woman.

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  17. I don't live in Sydney, but I make a bet that asian men make up the majority in science and engineering majors at Sydney University.

    Why is this? How do we change this? This is what needs to be fixed. Immigration, student visas, and discrimination against white men at college admissions.

    But there's also a laziness issue at stake....Many white men here in America want to be "The Manager" or "The Business Major" and then "Manage" the asian workers. This attitude of entitlement of white american men needs to be fixed and addressed too.

    If your son is going to college for anything but a hard science degree then he is just as much responsible for the fall of the west as the liberal ass-wipe women.

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  18. Anonymous,

    From what I can tell, none of the above comments were aimed at your particular situation. They were general comments about a woman (and her friends) who may have set aside perfectly good men because they didn't live up to her standards. No doubt being single in your situation is difficult. Being married and raising a family is also difficult. Having a chip on the shoulder makes it all even more difficult.

    You mentioned education. My husband is an electrical engineer, his younger brother is a mechanical engineer, and their older brother is a welder. None of them see their jobs as a crusade to save or demolish Western civilization. It's what they happen to be interested in and are good at it. But I'm not sure that we will save civilization if we push boys into jobs they neither like nor are good at doing.

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  19. Modern college is a fool's errand. It is overpriced, leads to debt and has lost most of its value. Acquire a trade or get a cheap associate degree's instead.

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  20. "because many white men have failed to step up to the plate and take their rightful place in college majors like mine."

    "a product of our System favoring minorities over white males. "

    umm that "minorities" includes women as well. Bizzaro world, right!


    "This attitude of entitlement of white american men needs to be fixed and addressed too. "

    Just what the american male needs, more "fixing".

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  21. @Anonymous
    I've disqualified 2 very nice men...1 college educated and 1 non-college educated due to drinking...and in a few more months I'm about to disqualify (break-up with) a third non-college educated man because of drinking (I'm not sure yet if he has a problem). I disqualified a military man because of a history of cocaine use (although he has stopped, but u know...the trust is gone)
    ...

    There is nothing surprising about it. You are a textbook example of partner preselection. Your family is a role model for you. You simply choose alcoholic because (only) they make a gina tingle.
    If you really wanted a non-alcoholic whould have him. Simply alcoholics are minority in the society.

    There is no easy solution for you. Alcoholics attract you (subconsiously) and modern relationships are mostly about attraction (known as "gina tingle").

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  22. Your meaning and purpose now?

    Cats.

    Bwahahaha!l

    Yes, it is her fault. She chose... poorly.

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  23. The following arguments made by the various anonymi are ludricous:
    1.. .."and Beat the SHIT out the Asians in my major thus proving that White Americans Are Indeed The Best"

    Non-sequitur. The contention after 'thus' does not follow from the part before it.

    2. "That single woman is the product not of her "CHOICE" but in fact, a product of our System favoring minorities over white males.

    Thats is the problem. NOT The Woman."


    This argument is mindbogglingly myopic on two levels:
    a. The benefit of affirmative action for minorities over white males is small compared to the same for WOMEN OVER MEN because women comprise half the population and therefore, the drive toward equity would mean depriving far more men of jobs etc. compared to the number of men deprived because of minorities. Consider this article by a black bemoaning the fact that white American women are voting against AA despite having benefited from it.
    b. The argument presumes that the woman would not date an Asian simply because he was Asian. If that was the case, she is definitely single by choice and quite possibly a bigot to boot.

    3.If your son is going to college for anything but a hard science degree then he is just as much responsible for the fall of the west as the liberal ass-wipe women.

    Another non-sequitur. The fall of the west is related in large part to the welfare state which would not exist without the vote of 'liberal ass-wipe women' who have historically been the majority of female voters. The reason some male liberal arts students have to forgo the hard sciences is because females have occupied their places thanks to quota impositions.

    4.I don't live in Sydney, but I make a bet that asian men make up the majority in science and engineering majors at Sydney University.

    Why is this? How do we change this?


    The 'why' can be answered by looking at the average IQ of Asians compared with other ethnic groups. While some minorities benefit from quotas, Asians, specifically Orientals, do not and in fact may be discriminated against. Therefore the question poses a false dilemma. Even if the Asians refer to South Asians, their percentage is small compared to that of white women who have been the primary beneficiaries of AA. So that, too, is a false dilemma.

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  24. "Yet...I very well could die single and childless.

    And I'm the bad guy?"

    Of course not.

    But that doesn't prove other women who've dipped out aren't the victims of their own hypergamous standards, political correctness, and a drive for autonomy at the expense of biological reality.

    For many kinds of harmful event, the usual cause is folly, but some people do become victims without folly. For example, accidental discharges of firearms (due to mechanical failures the shooter could not reasonably have anticipated) are rare compared to negligent discharges (due to shooter error). But accidental discharges do happen.

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  25. Think of AIDS. Not everyone who gets AIDS was in a high risk category or engaging in foolish, risky behaviors. But many were. The disease has a very strong profile. It's natural and proper that people discuss AIDS in terms of the usual risk factors. That isn't a slam on someone who got AIDS without doing anything wrong.

    "Husbandless and Empty" does talk like someone with the usual risky behaviors related to "died childless and single" syndrome. It's reasonable for people to notice that.

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  26. "I'm 29.

    What do you want me to do??"

    Try again, with another military guy, maybe a Marine.

    Soon is good. Your nature is that you are a trier. You probably will try again sooner or later anyway. Even though you probably feel burned out, the smart play is to try again now when it might result in children, and not later when you might feel more emotionally rested but success is academic.

    I think you wanted to marry a White guy who was sober, tough enough to make you feel girly, and who would find your approaching every test with a warrior attitude to be adorable. I find no fault with what you wanted.

    That's something that should not have been too much to ask for.

    Society is changing for the worse.

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  27. Husband and Empty Pocketed.

    I'm 43. Marriage ruined my quality of life, took away my independence, crushed by dreams.

    Boo hoo.

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  28. "Yet...I very well could die single and childless.

    And I'm the bad guy?"

    Funny thing about collectively-caused problems...

    Nobody's the "bad guy"...

    Poetically enough, and this may well be fiction since I just got it off of "Boardwalk Empire", but the very first female mass movement in the West meant to rein in men was Prohibition. You live in a world that gives men many reasons to drink. Some drink abusively, most don't. If you'll reject any pair of lips that have touched alcohol, you might as well refuse to marry a man who gets that glassy look in his eyes when a pretty woman walks by.

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  29. Davout, that was awesome.

    You are my favorite Marechal!

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  30. The argument presumes that the woman would not date an Asian simply because he was Asian. If that was the case, she is definitely single by choice and quite possibly a bigot to boot.

    I've seen this argument put forward by many a liberal. Refuse to date Race X and you're a racist. Naturally, this dilemma has one answer: date Race X to prove you're not a racist, whether you like it or not. So much for freedom of association, and, God forbid, thinking that one's own race has the right to continue to exist.

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  31. "You are my favorite Marechal!"

    What would Napoleon have done without me?! lol

    van Wijk said:

    "I've seen this argument put forward by many a liberal."

    The argument as it was put forth by the writer exposed her to the charge of arbitrary bias because she did not provide any credible reasons for thinking the way she did.
    The inherent assumption which provided venom for the commenter was that Asians were overrepresented within university because of AA, a claim that is highly unlikely. If this was the reason why she didn't date Asians, then that reason is bunk.
    The commenter could possibly be a bigot (as I indicated) but not necessarily so because it is also possible that she misrepresented her reasons.

    I understand the argument to date within one's race or ethnicity from the point of view of compatibility or cultural overlap but these reasons were not put forth.

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  32. women have no excuse to be alone, end of story

    if you are female, 40 and unmarried, you chose to be that way. no woman on the planet ends up a spinster because of "bad luck." the woman in this article literally explains the actions that lead to these consequences, she refused to "settle" for a man unless he lived up to every ridiculous fantasy she could dream of. she focused on her career and then expected to find a man who was her equal AND respected her while she also respected him. it's like insane feminazi pretzel logic from the depths of a nightmare reality.

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  33. women have no excuse to be alone, end of story

    if you are female, 40 and unmarried, you chose to be that way. no woman on the planet ends up a spinster because of "bad luck." the woman in this article literally explains the actions that lead to these consequences, she refused to "settle" for a man unless he lived up to every ridiculous fantasy she could dream of. she focused on her career and then expected to find a man who was her equal AND respected her while she also respected him. it's like insane feminazi pretzel logic from the depths of a nightmare reality.


    What JSO said! Any woman who wants a man can find one. If this woman is 'husandless & empty', it's her OWN fault.

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  34. Anonymous, I don't see how you concluded from this article that you specifically are to blame for being single. From what I've read of your past comments on this blog (if you're the Anon I think you are), you don't espouse very many of the average Salon reader's viewpoints.

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  35. Your tears...they taste like candy!

    Cry more anonymous, cry more...

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  36. The "advice" she got at Salon that Daybreaker posted was precisely what got her into her predicament in the first place - the emphasis on self. It's all about the self and some abstract "principles" about never having to compromise in life. Oy vey! Unbelievable!

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  37. Ladies, it's like this: I ate crap I didn't deserve my entire life over Feminism. I'm in my mid-50s.

    Now you and your daughters will eat crap you don't deserve your entire lives. It's called 'justice'.

    I know that, because you are women, the idea of justice is abhorrent and cruel, and you would even say it's 'unfair' because few will call you on misusing that word. I can only offer you the same mercy and comfort that I was given:

    Too bad. So sad. Sucks to be you.

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  38. "Yet...I very well could die single and childless.

    And I'm the bad guy?"

    Yes. To be fair, you are the responsible of your situation.

    1. You refuse to date non-whites.
    2. You refuse to date guys who haven't gone to college.
    3. You date alcoholics (although they are a minority of the guys) then you break up with them because they are alcoholics.
    4. Not only that, you are unwilling to accept how your actions and decisions are the cause of your predicament.

    Instead of that, you blame everybody for your personal failure (men, society, liberal women). Everybody except you is responsible for your life.

    And then, instead of trying to change yourself or trying to follow a different strategy to get what you want, you want the entire society to change so you can have what you want without changing anything.

    Your self-centeredness, solipsism and sense of entitlement are huge. Women like you is the ones who have fucked up this society.

    So yes, you are the bad guy. Sorry but it is the truth.

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  39. "I'm the bad guy?" isn't in the wrong. Her attitude was fine, but the dice didn't roll right for her. She was trying for a strong marriage from early on, but relationships didn't work out, and burned up time. Anyone should be able to understand that.

    Issues like substance abuse are valid reasons to reject a relationship. Alcohol and cocaine don't make for a solid marriage.

    Wanting to marry someone of the same race can't be too big a thing to ask, since most women through history have done just that. It's like a woman wanting to marry a husband who's as tall as her or a bit taller.

    People should stop being Job's comforters. Not everybody who suffers a misfortune has it coming.

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  40. I'll underline the point made by Daybreaker that it's not unreasonable for someone to want to date a person of their own race.

    ReplyDelete

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