Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Do some women seek abuse?

Feminists like to portray domestic violence as being a result of the "social construction of masculinity".

This gives the impression that there is reason for women to fear men in general, especially masculine men. It also suggests that men need to reform by rejecting a traditional masculinity.

However, before men rush off to sign up for basket-weaving courses, they should consider the following. As I pointed out in a recent article, research shows that men initiate violence in only 15% of cases of domestic violence. It is much more common for the violence to be mutual, or for it to be initiated by women alone.

(Those who doubt that women can inflict serious harm on a male partner might consider cases such as the Swedish woman who earlier this month poured boiling water on her sleeping husband.)

And what of those 15% of cases where the woman is the victim of male violence? A newly released British study suggests that roughly a quarter of such women go straight from one abusive relationship to another. In other words, for psychological reasons they seek out abusive men.

This doesn't excuse the abusive men. But it decreases the statistical likelihood that a well-adjusted woman will be abused by her male partner.

As I noted in my earlier article, in the course of a year there is a roughly 1.5% chance of a woman being hit by her male partner. That figure of 1.5% includes those women who seek out violent partners. So women who aren't seeking out abuse will be the victims of hitting in a little over 1% of all relationships.

So should women fear the garden variety male? Given the research, I don't see why. A woman who chooses an emotionally stable, protective, non-alcoholic, socially successful male is statistically unlikely to be physically attacked by her partner.

The traditional masculine code forbidding violence against women works well in general. It needs to be encouraged, not overthrown.

2 comments:

  1. Comments policy note:

    I've now deleted several comments made in response to Bobby N.

    I'd encourage readers to express disagreements with posts or comments politely, and preferably with a thoughtful argument.

    Personally, I think Bobby N is right that there is a conflict between what feminism tells a woman to seek in a man and what her heterosexual nature will drive her to seek.

    I think he is right too feminism has disrupted the normal process of establishing relationships and forming families.

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  2. In regards to what Bobby N has said, I am not disagreeing, simply shedding a brighter light on a clearly, not fully overturned stone. I think you should watch the BBC4 documentary on Billie Holiday before you clumsily state "i doubt women seek abuse". Albeit this woman had a number of issues, but she intentionally put herself in these intense situations with men, drugs & alcohol repeatedly. I think it is a very important question and should not be cast aside so quickly just because there is a single argument on the other side.. ;)

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