Monday, August 30, 2004

Asserting masculinity

Toby Green is the relationships psychologist for the Herald Sun. A frequent theme of her columns is that for heterosexual relationships to work men have to be masculine enough to hold their own ground in relationships with women.

In her latest column (29/8/04) she advises men that,

Women are "testers". If she knows you mean business and aren't going to be manipulated, A. She'll relent and B. It's a sexual turn on. Women may hate being wrong and they may manipulate and they may be self righteous and morally superior, but more than all of that, they love and respect a man who isn't sucked in by them.

Toby Green's frequent encouragement of men to be more strongly masculine in relationships goes against the prevailing trend in liberal cultures.

Liberals believe that we should be self-created by our own reason and will, and not by something unchosen like the fact of being born male or female.

So liberals prefer to act against inherited gender traits. That's why in a liberal culture you'll often see women portrayed as feisty and independent, whilst men will often be encouraged to be snaggish or metrosexual.

But this doesn't fit in well with our heterosexual drives and instincts. Men want women to be feminine, and women want men to be masculine. It is a "turn off" to the opposite sex if we fail to live up to a basic level of masculinity and femininity.

Toby Green has observed this in her professional practice, and she is willing to put this real life experience ahead of any ideological commitment to political correctness.

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