The traditionalist view is very different. We would point out that masculinity is oriented to the physical protection of women rather than to inflicting violence; that traditional Western societies did not permit violence against women; and that violence against women is associated not with social norms but with anti-social behaviour.
Lisa Price lives in Walsall, England. A year ago she was persuaded that the leftist view was the correct one, having read some information on parenting websites. Therefore, she took the next step and decided that her son, Max, must not be raised along normal masculine lines:
Lisa, a full-time housewife, took the decision to allow Max to identify as either a girl or a boy 12 months ago, after seeing high-profile rape cases being discussed on parenting websites. "Gender stereotypes can be so damaging.
"They teach little boys to be aggressive and dominant over women," she argues. "There’s research out there saying that the whole “boys will be boys” thing basically teaches lads that it’s OK to be a certain way, because it’s in their nature to be aggressive. It’s detrimental for them and for females."
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| Max Price |
Lisa Price also justifies her decision to raise her son to be gender neutral in standard liberal terms, namely as part of autonomous choice. This view assumes that raising a boy to be masculine will hamper his freedom to be whoever he chooses to be:
"If Max wants to wear a pink tutu and fairy wings, then he can wear it," says Lisa. "He’s just expressing himself. I don’t want to put him in a certain box and treat him that way. I want to teach him to be whatever he wants to be."
The focus here is on our sex as being something limiting or restricting to self - which assumes that our self is something set apart from our masculine or feminine being. The traditionalist view is that it is not set apart and therefore the point is not to choose a gender but to best develop the masculinity that is embedded in our identity as a man or the femininity that is embedded in our identity as a woman.
I would note here that Lisa Price herself has followed a feminine path in being a stay at home mother and that she presents herself in a recognisably feminine form. The mum wants something for her son that she has not followed herself.
I wonder too if she has considered what qualities her son will need to be successful in his life. We don't just get to choose what the opposite sex finds attractive in a partner; nor do we get to choose what demands are placed on us at school or at work or in the home. Men do still need to have masculine strengths to bear the burdens placed upon them; the questing and resilient spirit of men also helps us to forge a path and to find our higher fulfilments in life.
So Max's mum is not doing him any favours in steering him away from developing along masculine lines.
I'm a boy, I'm a boy
ReplyDeleteBut my ma won't admit it...
The "progressives" haven't come up with a fundamentally new idea in at least forty years. They only have ever more aggressive implementations of the same old ideas.
ReplyDeleteOne reason is, as long as the official opposition is right liberalism, "progressives" only have to beat opponents who themselves never come up with any new ideas.
Another reason is, the interests of the people that are grabbing for power and control don't change. And they still see the "hetero-patriarchal-white" family as the ultimate enemy, that contains everything they fear by the way of strength, potential economic and moral autonomy, fertility, the transmission of culture, and potential ethnic, national and racial cohesiveness.
Femininity has been an enemy since day one, since (among many reasons) it represents fertility, solidarity and collective autonomy. It stands for moral independence from the poison of the theraputic state, since the traditional family has its own means of comfort and healing.
But traditional white, Western, Christian masculinity has been the main enemy since day one, and that can't change.
If Mrs. Price is simply going to let little Max follow his own inclinations, there probably isn't much to worry about. In a couple of years he's going to put the pink tutu and fairy wings in the back of his closet, and that's where they will stay. There may be a problem, however, if she tries to repress his male nature when it begins to express itself.
ReplyDeleteThere is another downside to the "let him be what he wants to be" style of parenting, though. I think of it as the "snowflake syndrome," by which I mean the attitude of young people who expect the world to indulge and applaud their whimsicality because that is what Mom and Dad have always done. These are the people who show up for work wearing their pajamas, thinking that it is cute, because Mom and Dad let them go to school that way, thinking it was cute. I think parents should treat their child as if there is no one quite like that child in the whole world, but they should also make it clear to the child that no one else in the whole world thinks, or even will think, of the child in this way. Little Max may have a hard time coming to terms with that grim reality.
Max will adopt male ways eventually because of male peer pressure, but it would be an interesting experiment to raise males in a totally female environment, and not even differentiate him as a male, and find out just how masculine he became. I'm not suggesting that, as it would be immoral and largely impractical, but the result would be interesting to know.
ReplyDeleteThe mum is going to try to avoid male peer pressure by homeschooling him. I agree it would be an interesting experiment (though not one I would inflict on anyone). A fair percentage of the boys I teach come from a matriarchal lower-class background (generations of single mums with occasional boyfriends hanging around). I find most of these boys a lot less masculine than the boys from the private boys' schools that I grew up with. There was an ethos at the private boys' schools that you weren't supposed to flinch at anything, whereas the boys from the matriarchal families tend to be a bit sookish and don't cope well with adversity. However, a number of the boys from the poorer backgrounds do get into a fighting milieu and are tough in that sense, though I don't know where that really gets them in the long-term.
DeleteMy own guess is that if Mum gets his way Max will grow up to be more passively ineffectual than other men.
I wonder what Max's Dad thinks of all this. Oh, I guess no-one will ever know the answer to that.
ReplyDeleteThe decision was fully supported by Martin, an unemployed courier. ‘I think my husband is more of a feminist than I am,’ she says. ‘His biggest concern about the whole thing is usually “does Max have the right shoes to go with that dress!”’
DeleteMartin, for his part, adds: ‘My parents told me that I played with my sister’s dolls as a child and it doesn’t bother me. I can’t see why it would bother anyone.’
Dad is screwed up and he is facilitating this child abuse.
Thanks. Now its even worse.
DeleteThe only men that I have seen physically attack or about to attack a woman in public have all been drag queens,gay, or both.They are usually saved by a masculine man or my caine.
ReplyDeleteThe strong if not guided by morality well inflict violence to get there way .Her solution to this is to demasculate her son while he's weaker than her .No one see's the hypocracy
Gordez
My first comment on this page after reading it for a while now:
Delete"It is the weak who are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected of the strong" Leo Rosten. Real men (masculine, traditionally moral and grounded in themselves and in their culture) do not attack women. I have been a Christian now for 33 years. In that time I have almost had two fights, both times defending women from male persons, not men